The Rollar Coaster that is my life.

So I went to McMaster Friday having travelled on the Highway with a VERY full bladder to get there and be asked by the technician, "why do you have a full bladder?" Well let's see, "I'm here for an Ultrasound on my Ovaries to look for cysts" ya know the one my NeuroSurgeon ordered!? Well the technician consults the requisite and we verify all of the information to make sure it's mine and sure enough I'm not there for my ovaries but rather to have an ultrasound on my liver. *sighs* My liver? Yeah I know, I have no clue either, but the technician must have felt so bad for me that she actually did an ultrasound on my ovaries since she said with a full bladder they should be able to get a good picture of them and sure enough she did. She then let me pee, THANK GOD! Seriously what person in their right mind says, "fll your bladder and let's press on it!" seems kind of cruel doesn't it?! Anyways after I was able to pee she then did an ultrasound of my liver. So I had a COMPLETE abdominal ultrasound and will review those results on Feb 25 when I meet with the Drs again.

I recieved notification of my first Observation MRI which is April 11 at Juravinski. I had been going to Hamilton General Hospital for my MRI's but it appears they now have an MRI machine at the Cancer Center which is good because now it's "one stop shopping" for Cancer patients. lol that sounds horrible doesn't it? But I meet with my Oncologist on April 21 for the results of the MRI and to say I'm nervous is an understatement. I was talking to my Hubby about it and trying to pinpoint it but I think there is a part of me that is waiting for the hammer to fall, waiting for the Dr to say, "well we gave observation a try but now we need to do Chemo." I still have to remember one thing at the end of the day: I am a Cancer Patient, and those words are very hard to swallow. I was fortunate enough to have an AMAZING team of surgeons that operated on me and I have chosen as my Treatment, Observation but I could have instead have chosen Chemotherapy & Radiation as it was an option presented to me. Infact I was told that if at anytime I change my mind and wish to do Chemo & Radiation that I can do that as well, but unless it is absolutely necessary it isn't something I'm going to do.

Of course I try to remain as optomistic as possible and hope for the best, but this waiting is something that sucks big time! In fact the Neuro Oncologist I met with in December said that Observation is something alot of people can't do becaues emotionally and psychologically it messes with them and I get that. For the last 2 months I've been wanting my first MRI to come in hopes it would get here, the results would be good and than it would be over and I'd wait another 4 months, and now that it's in the near future I'm anxious about it. So please, keep the prayers and positive thoughts coming because I can definately use each and every one of them.

~Tara