To say that this past year has been a rollarcoaster ride is quite frankly an understatement. I can not wait to get this year behind me and move into a brand new year, with a better bill of health, a new outlook and attitude and move forward. The last 5 months in particular have been my own personal hell. In 5 short months I went from having very odd sensory things happening to me, to a bunch of tests being done and subsequently finding out that I had a large cancerous tumor on the right front temporal lobe of my brain that had probably been growing for more than 10 years. Talk about having your world rocked. And of course I can't forget being wheeled into the Operating Room at Hamilton General to have that nasty thing removed on October 21, 2010, that was a Thursday morning and I was home by Monday! My progess has been better than expected, and I recieved my Christmas Miracle on Dec 16 when I visited the Juravinski Cancer Centre in Hamilton to discuss my ongoing treatment only to be told that my Surgeons got the whole tumor and therefore I would be put into observation to have MRI's done as the Neurologist said, "until your grey". What a relief and a blessing all rolled into one. And I know that my continued health and wellbeing lies in my hands. While going through the battery of tests I did and during recovery I read alot about Cancer and I learned quite a bit. The 2 things that Cancer loves and feeds off of is Refined Sugar and White Flour, so as I leave 2010 behind I also leave those foods behind. I will be adopting a Whole Grain Diet, avoiding White Sugar, Aspratame and White Flour and making sure I get my moderate exercise daily. Hey, if I don't look out for myself and my health, who will?
So I hope that most of you who read this haven't been through your own Personal Hell like I have this year but even if you have I'd like to say this: Tomorrow is another day, Chin up and carry on! Leave 2010 behind you and look forward to a new day.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!
~Tara
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
2 months ago today....
2 months ago today I had my Operation to remove my Brain Tumor, I really can't beleive it. I can't beleive that this whole journey started a mere 5 months ago, it's been a very emotional and trying 5 months. I've made a lot of progress as well which is good, for starters I don't use my cane at all and haven't for a few weeks now, and my perifrial vision that my Opthamologist said I would probably never regain, well guess what? While it isn't back fully in both eyes I've regained most in my right eye and some in my left!
And ask me about a month ago what my day consisted of and I'd have told you that I was up early in the morning to take my pills and took many naps during the day and not much else. I'd jump online to check emails but that really was about it. Not being able to bend over or carry anything over 10 lbs because of the surgery has unforutunately limited me in things I can do around the house and I had no desire to leave the house, so if I wasn't at an appointment I was probably home napping.
Well as you may know I recieved some good news last week and that definately brightened my mood and lifted my spirits. I went 2 days in a row this week with no naps at all after having been out those days and today I napped only once. But today also consisted of cleaning around the house, wrapping gifts and getting things ready for Holiday visitors. I know it may seem like nothing to someone reading this but to me it's a HUGE thing. The fact that not only am I able to do these things but have the energy and desire to do so is a huge step in the right direction. I've been using a grab stick of sorts which allows me to pick things up without bending over so it's been a great tool for me!
Physically the only real discomfort I have and have had all along is on the right side of my head, big surprise I know lol But it's tender to the touch on the top right hand side which my Surgeon said is due to the fact that they cut the nerves during operation and it takes a while for them to heal after they reattach them. That and I get a pressure from time to time right above my right ear that feels like something is trying to push my skull out, it's uncomfortable when it happens and more annoying than anything but I just take some pain pills and take a nap and hope that when I awake it's gone and it usually is. I'm also quite sensative to white, you read that right: White. I'm sensative to light but white especially. If I'm looking at the computer where the screen is mostly white or in the car and looking at the snow on the ground or reading a book or magazine that has white pages I can't do it for too long because it hurts.
Considering however what I've been through I think these are very small things that hopefully in time will get better anyways.
~Tara
And ask me about a month ago what my day consisted of and I'd have told you that I was up early in the morning to take my pills and took many naps during the day and not much else. I'd jump online to check emails but that really was about it. Not being able to bend over or carry anything over 10 lbs because of the surgery has unforutunately limited me in things I can do around the house and I had no desire to leave the house, so if I wasn't at an appointment I was probably home napping.
Well as you may know I recieved some good news last week and that definately brightened my mood and lifted my spirits. I went 2 days in a row this week with no naps at all after having been out those days and today I napped only once. But today also consisted of cleaning around the house, wrapping gifts and getting things ready for Holiday visitors. I know it may seem like nothing to someone reading this but to me it's a HUGE thing. The fact that not only am I able to do these things but have the energy and desire to do so is a huge step in the right direction. I've been using a grab stick of sorts which allows me to pick things up without bending over so it's been a great tool for me!
Physically the only real discomfort I have and have had all along is on the right side of my head, big surprise I know lol But it's tender to the touch on the top right hand side which my Surgeon said is due to the fact that they cut the nerves during operation and it takes a while for them to heal after they reattach them. That and I get a pressure from time to time right above my right ear that feels like something is trying to push my skull out, it's uncomfortable when it happens and more annoying than anything but I just take some pain pills and take a nap and hope that when I awake it's gone and it usually is. I'm also quite sensative to white, you read that right: White. I'm sensative to light but white especially. If I'm looking at the computer where the screen is mostly white or in the car and looking at the snow on the ground or reading a book or magazine that has white pages I can't do it for too long because it hurts.
Considering however what I've been through I think these are very small things that hopefully in time will get better anyways.
~Tara
Friday, December 17, 2010
Just to clear up a few questions you may have
Goodmorning all! I just wanted to write a blog post to address some questions that have been asked and seem to be floating around in peoples minds about what is going
on with me. I didn't really clarify some things in my post yesterday so I will today.
Q) What kind of tumor did you have?
A)The type of tumor that I had was called a Mixed Glioma which specifically is a Brain Tumor and has a mixture of 2 types of Cancer cells, some bad, some not and there is no way to tell which cells are dominant and which cells remained in the tissue which is why I will be doing observation to keep a close eye on them.
Q) Will you need any further treatment?
A)At this point no, nowever because I am in Observation we will be able to watch the cells and see what they are doing and should the cancer cells misbehave and start to regroup with other cells and start to form a new tumor they can catch it at hopefully the start of formation and I would at that point need further treatment. But as long as the cancer cells mind their own business & don't try to make friends, I won't need any further treatment.
Q) What about the Chemo pill?
A)I was told that I do not have the genetic markers to be able to take the chemo pill so if at any point I need further treatment I will be placed on Radiation first and then Chemotherapy. If I would have had the marker to take the pill as pure precautionary in conjunction with observation I would have been taking that now as well because it is easy on the body.
Q) And why the difference between the 2 Drs Wed & Thurs??
A)GREAT QUESTION! You can only imagine how stunned we were when the Dr at the Cancer Centre said what he did and I was quick to question him as well considering what I was told the day before. The information I recieved Wed came from the Chief of Staff at the Hospital. While he was looking at my latest MRI, he was doing so without having my initial MRI with him to compare them both and without having been the person performing my surgery. So really he was assuming how much was recovered during the operation. When I brought this up to the Dr at the Cancer Centre Thurs he simply said that he is going by Pathology and their findings. Keep in mind that Pathology not only compares MRIS they also examine the removed tumor and inspect it. So they are able to determine what was removed alot more accurately than someone looking at an MRI. Plus something did show up on the MRI, that was the Fiberous Tissues!
Q) How am I feeling?
A) I'm a mixed bag of emotions right now. I feel excited, happy and relief but's a cautious relief. It's been a very hard 4 months and my emotions have been jerked around constantly. What I do know is that I have been able to reflect on alot of things these past 4 months and what I once thought important seems to be so far from that. I appreciate the love and support and prayers of my family and friends you guys are amazing! I really doubt I would have faired as well as I have if I didn't have you all rallying around me.
In the New Year I will be meeting with Dieticians and Endocrinologists to help in the study between Diabetes and Cancer. Hey if I can help with something that's never a bad thing.
And in the New brings a new Lifestyle. I've been reading alot of books on Cancer and the connection between our Dietary habits in the Western World and how it feeds cancer cells, so the New Year brings change. When I left the Cancer Centre yesterday the Dr shook my hand and said, "Okay you're not sick, go and Enjoy your Christmas", and I plan to do exactly that! And I hope you all will as well.
Lots of Love
~Tara
on with me. I didn't really clarify some things in my post yesterday so I will today.
Q) What kind of tumor did you have?
A)The type of tumor that I had was called a Mixed Glioma which specifically is a Brain Tumor and has a mixture of 2 types of Cancer cells, some bad, some not and there is no way to tell which cells are dominant and which cells remained in the tissue which is why I will be doing observation to keep a close eye on them.
Q) Will you need any further treatment?
A)At this point no, nowever because I am in Observation we will be able to watch the cells and see what they are doing and should the cancer cells misbehave and start to regroup with other cells and start to form a new tumor they can catch it at hopefully the start of formation and I would at that point need further treatment. But as long as the cancer cells mind their own business & don't try to make friends, I won't need any further treatment.
Q) What about the Chemo pill?
A)I was told that I do not have the genetic markers to be able to take the chemo pill so if at any point I need further treatment I will be placed on Radiation first and then Chemotherapy. If I would have had the marker to take the pill as pure precautionary in conjunction with observation I would have been taking that now as well because it is easy on the body.
Q) And why the difference between the 2 Drs Wed & Thurs??
A)GREAT QUESTION! You can only imagine how stunned we were when the Dr at the Cancer Centre said what he did and I was quick to question him as well considering what I was told the day before. The information I recieved Wed came from the Chief of Staff at the Hospital. While he was looking at my latest MRI, he was doing so without having my initial MRI with him to compare them both and without having been the person performing my surgery. So really he was assuming how much was recovered during the operation. When I brought this up to the Dr at the Cancer Centre Thurs he simply said that he is going by Pathology and their findings. Keep in mind that Pathology not only compares MRIS they also examine the removed tumor and inspect it. So they are able to determine what was removed alot more accurately than someone looking at an MRI. Plus something did show up on the MRI, that was the Fiberous Tissues!
Q) How am I feeling?
A) I'm a mixed bag of emotions right now. I feel excited, happy and relief but's a cautious relief. It's been a very hard 4 months and my emotions have been jerked around constantly. What I do know is that I have been able to reflect on alot of things these past 4 months and what I once thought important seems to be so far from that. I appreciate the love and support and prayers of my family and friends you guys are amazing! I really doubt I would have faired as well as I have if I didn't have you all rallying around me.
In the New Year I will be meeting with Dieticians and Endocrinologists to help in the study between Diabetes and Cancer. Hey if I can help with something that's never a bad thing.
And in the New brings a new Lifestyle. I've been reading alot of books on Cancer and the connection between our Dietary habits in the Western World and how it feeds cancer cells, so the New Year brings change. When I left the Cancer Centre yesterday the Dr shook my hand and said, "Okay you're not sick, go and Enjoy your Christmas", and I plan to do exactly that! And I hope you all will as well.
Lots of Love
~Tara
Thursday, December 16, 2010
I have excellent News!
I am more than excited to report the following:
I will not be doing Chemotherapy or Radiation! Why you ask? Because the Surgeon got the whole tumor! But what did the chief of staff say to me yesterday? Well he said that he didn't have my original MRI to compare this latest MRI with but he suspects that they got 50-75%. So he really didn't have an accurate number to go with, but of course I left the office feeling depressed and thinking the worse. Well when I saw the Dr today he was going over the Pathologists report with me and said that the only thing that shows up on the MRI are the fiberous tissues that the tumor left behind which is what I was seeing when I viewed the MRI!
He said that with Patients my age with my type of brain tumor (mixed glioma) they prefer to put them into Observation indefinitely. All that means is that for the 1st year I will have an MRI every 4 months,and the 2nd year every 6 months and the 3rd year on it's once every year.Basically they will continously monitor my brain and if anything showed up down the road they would deal with it at that time with radiation first and then chemotherapy , but to do chemotherapy and radiation right now I would be putting my body through unnessessary pain and long term effects. So my first MRI is April 2011. To say I am excited is COMPLETE understatement! This really is the best Christmas Gift I could have ever recieved.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
~Tara
I will not be doing Chemotherapy or Radiation! Why you ask? Because the Surgeon got the whole tumor! But what did the chief of staff say to me yesterday? Well he said that he didn't have my original MRI to compare this latest MRI with but he suspects that they got 50-75%. So he really didn't have an accurate number to go with, but of course I left the office feeling depressed and thinking the worse. Well when I saw the Dr today he was going over the Pathologists report with me and said that the only thing that shows up on the MRI are the fiberous tissues that the tumor left behind which is what I was seeing when I viewed the MRI!
He said that with Patients my age with my type of brain tumor (mixed glioma) they prefer to put them into Observation indefinitely. All that means is that for the 1st year I will have an MRI every 4 months,and the 2nd year every 6 months and the 3rd year on it's once every year.Basically they will continously monitor my brain and if anything showed up down the road they would deal with it at that time with radiation first and then chemotherapy , but to do chemotherapy and radiation right now I would be putting my body through unnessessary pain and long term effects. So my first MRI is April 2011. To say I am excited is COMPLETE understatement! This really is the best Christmas Gift I could have ever recieved.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
~Tara
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
My final Surgeons appointment: Horatio lives on
Alright, so I met with my Surgeon and also the Chief of Staff today in Hamilton where we reviewed the MRI together and I was shown the mass in my brain that they couldn't remove. Yeah you read that right: That they couldn't remove :( I asked both of them how much was removed and I was told that probably between 50-75% but they of course can not be certain. As I hear them say that they were unable to remove about 25-50% of the tumor my heart sank. I knew they probably wouldn't be able to get it all but to hear that it could be as high as half of the tumor it just felt like someone sucker punched me. I was told that with the tumor and location that they had a 7cm area in which they could work with removing it without affecting too much. I was told that had they gone any deeper to try and remove anymore of the tumor that they could have possibly blinded me, left me deaf or severely affected my speech and because of my age they didn't want to do that. The Chief of Staff put me through my paces and had me do some monkey tricks as I call them to see how I'm walking, talking, seeing, etc and both him and my Surgeon seemed impressed with how well I'm doing. They figured I'd have many more issues post surgery that most people that have brain tumors removed do experience but were happy that I wasn't.
And now I cut ties with my Surgeon, and as I left his office I shook his hand and simply said, "Thank you, and on't take this the wrong way but I hope to never see you again", to which he smiled and replied "that would be great."
Now I am in the hands of my Oncologist and the people at the Juravinksi Cancer Centre in Hamilton for further Treatment. That reatment should be Chemotherapy and Radiation but what kind and what schedule I won't know until tomorrow when I meet with them again. I will let you all know tomorrow how my appointment goes, for now I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that I'll get some good news tomorrow and learn that I can take the Chemo Pill. Some good news would be nice. Yeah it really would.
~Tara
And now I cut ties with my Surgeon, and as I left his office I shook his hand and simply said, "Thank you, and on't take this the wrong way but I hope to never see you again", to which he smiled and replied "that would be great."
Now I am in the hands of my Oncologist and the people at the Juravinksi Cancer Centre in Hamilton for further Treatment. That reatment should be Chemotherapy and Radiation but what kind and what schedule I won't know until tomorrow when I meet with them again. I will let you all know tomorrow how my appointment goes, for now I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that I'll get some good news tomorrow and learn that I can take the Chemo Pill. Some good news would be nice. Yeah it really would.
~Tara
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Surgeons Appointment tomorrow
So I meet with my Surgeon tomorrow for the first time since my surgery, this will be my first post-op appointment and hopefully the last time I see this man again. nothing against him, he's a great surgeon, but I'm hoping I'm done with Horatio. My appointment tomorrow however is weather permitting as it's been crazy out on the highways! I also meet with my Oncologist for the first time on Thursday and that's a big day for me, that's the day I find out about Chemo and Radiation. I'm king of nervous as well because we will be going over my latest MRI results as well and I was told previously that something showed up on the MRI we just weren't sure what it was but I guess Thursday I'll find out.
~Breathe~ That's really all I can keep telling myself and all I can do.
~Tara
~Breathe~ That's really all I can keep telling myself and all I can do.
~Tara
Friday, December 3, 2010
It's been a rough few days
This week has been far from a good week for me that's for sure. I went to my Family Dr Monday and got my final stitch out and you wouldn't beleive how much better my head felt after having that tiny little stitch out! My Dr gave me the stitch and I have it in a tiny bag at home:) He put me on some new medication for my Diabetes and well that medication didn't agree with me. I unfortunately suffered most of the side effects which were not pleasant to say the least but once I stopped taking that medication I started feeling alot better.
I ended up cancelling my appointment with my Oncologist and NeuroSurgeon though because there was no way I was hitting the highway with how I was feeling.I was feeling somewhat better until the right side of my face started to puff up and was warm to touch! My face was really inflammed and I was in severe pain running along my jawline, teeth and around my right eye. The only relief is placing an ice pack on my cheek which helps bring the inflammation down but within minutes of removing the ice pack it gets inflammed again. Having had many sinus infections before I thought that perhaps that's what it was so I went to the Drs who said it could be a sinus infection but he suspects that it's a bacterial infection on the underside of my cheek :( My Hubby asked him if it could be related to my surgery and he said it would be hard to say. Sure an infection could have set in at any stitch, scab, opening to my head etc, you really couldn't tell.
Long story short he placed me on an antibiotic and I need to follow up with my Dr Tuesday to see how it's coming along. I hope the meds work because painkillers aren't and only an ice pack will help right now which gets pretty cold this time of year! Oh well, yet another bump in the rd to deal with.
~Tara
I ended up cancelling my appointment with my Oncologist and NeuroSurgeon though because there was no way I was hitting the highway with how I was feeling.I was feeling somewhat better until the right side of my face started to puff up and was warm to touch! My face was really inflammed and I was in severe pain running along my jawline, teeth and around my right eye. The only relief is placing an ice pack on my cheek which helps bring the inflammation down but within minutes of removing the ice pack it gets inflammed again. Having had many sinus infections before I thought that perhaps that's what it was so I went to the Drs who said it could be a sinus infection but he suspects that it's a bacterial infection on the underside of my cheek :( My Hubby asked him if it could be related to my surgery and he said it would be hard to say. Sure an infection could have set in at any stitch, scab, opening to my head etc, you really couldn't tell.
Long story short he placed me on an antibiotic and I need to follow up with my Dr Tuesday to see how it's coming along. I hope the meds work because painkillers aren't and only an ice pack will help right now which gets pretty cold this time of year! Oh well, yet another bump in the rd to deal with.
~Tara
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